I feel like I've spent the past few weeks in hiding. Not physically, of course... physically I've been busy with family, home and work. I've been planning vacations and travelled to Las Vegas for a long weekend with my husband, sister and brother-in-law. (It was fabulous and I promise to write a post about it when I can get the pictures sorted.) I've been doing the things that I always do.
Emotionally I've been shuttered up inside my own mind, locking myself away from my family, friends and even God. I've holed myself up in a prison of my own making with my fears and anxieties until I feel like I could burst from the pressure. But why? Why do I do this? I know that God's word tells me not to be anxious.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~ Philippians 4:6
And I know that the Lord wants to provide me with the strength that I lack on my own.
"..For this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
But Satan still whispers lies to me.... lies that tell me I am too small and insignificant for God to care, that I am alone and friendless, that who could possibly want to be bothered with my trivial issues. And I let myself believe these lies. It is far easier to hang on to my sack full of ashes and carry it around with me than to lay it at the feet of Christ. These ashes are MINE, they are a part of me.... what happens if I let them go? Who am I then?
Starting today, I'm saying it out loud..... SATAN, I'M FINISHED HEARING YOUR LIES. My LORD, my God is my strength and my peace.
"Peace that Jesus gives is not the absence of trouble, but is rather the confidence that He is there with you always." Pastor Phillip Crossman